How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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