How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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