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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?
A fire cracker
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I just watched a program about beavers.
It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?
Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?
Five after one.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?
It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What do you call an exploding monkey?
A baboom
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Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the shell station.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?
Cause your the only one Hair.
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