How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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