How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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