How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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