How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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