How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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