How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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