How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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