How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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