How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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