How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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