How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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