How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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