How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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