How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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