How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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