How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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