How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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