How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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