How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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