How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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