How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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