How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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