How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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