How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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