How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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