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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?
He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What's round and bad-tempered?
A vicious circle.
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How do you make a goldfish old?
Take away the g
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?
Plug its nose.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?
One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,
proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?
He was board.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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