How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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