How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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