How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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