How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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