How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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