How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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