How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many BBS jokers does it take to tell yet another LBJ?

1,622. One to tell the original joke, and the rest to submit give some minor variation of it! For example:
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