How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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