How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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