How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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