How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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