How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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