How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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