How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos

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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow

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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!

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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".

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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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