How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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