How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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