How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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