How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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