How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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