How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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