How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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