How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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