How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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