How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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