How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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