How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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