How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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