How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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