How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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