How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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