How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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