How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.

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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.

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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"


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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.

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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.

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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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