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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?
Me-ow
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
As far away as possible.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?
He was playing by ear
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?
Make sure one is a match!
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What can you hold without ever touching it?
A conversation.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?
To the dock.
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