How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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