How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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