How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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