How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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