How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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