How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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