How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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