How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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