How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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