How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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