How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.

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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.

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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.

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