How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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