How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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