How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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