How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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