How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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