How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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