How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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