How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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