How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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