How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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