How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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