How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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