How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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