How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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