How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.

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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark

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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.

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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986

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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.

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