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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.
The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?
Sleep somewhere else.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
Their lips are moving.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?
Root position cords.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?
He got caught peeping on a test.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.
People must be dying to get in there.
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