How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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