How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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