How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.

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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison

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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.

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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .

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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.

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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.

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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"

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