How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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