How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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