How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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