How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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