How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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