How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.

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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.

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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.

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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?

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What has a head but no body?

A nail.

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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.

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