How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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