How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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