How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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