How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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