How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.

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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.

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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.

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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.

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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.

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