How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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