How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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