How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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