How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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