How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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