How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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