How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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