How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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