How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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