How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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