How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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