How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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