How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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