How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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