How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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