How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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