How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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