How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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