How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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