How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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