How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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