How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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