How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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