How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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