How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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