How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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