How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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