How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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