How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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