How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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