How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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