How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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