How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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