How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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