How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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