How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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