How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit

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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos

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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.

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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.

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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.

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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.

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