How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit

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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish

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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy

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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?

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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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