How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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