How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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