How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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