How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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