How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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