How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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