How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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