How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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