How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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