How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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