How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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