How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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