How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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