How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.

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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh

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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.

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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.

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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.

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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).

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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.

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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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