How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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