How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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