How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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