How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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