How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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