How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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