How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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