How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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