How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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