How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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