How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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