How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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