How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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