How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.

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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.

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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.

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