How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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