How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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