How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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