How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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