How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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