How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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