How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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