How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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