How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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