How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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