How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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