How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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