How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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