How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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