How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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