How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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