How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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