How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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