How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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