How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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