How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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