How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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