How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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