How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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