How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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