How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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