How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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