How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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