How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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