How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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