How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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