How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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How many Southern Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?

One hundred and nine. Seven on the Lightbulb Task Force Sub-committee, who report to the 12 on the Lightbulb Task Force, appointed by the 15 on the Trustee Board. Their recommendation is reviewed by the Finance Executive Committee of five, who place it on the agenda of the 18-member Finance Committee. If they approve, they bring a motion to the 27-member Church Board, who appoint another 12-member review committee. If they recommend that the Church Board proceed, a resolution is brought to the Congregational Business Meeting. They appoint another eight-member review committee. If their report to the next Congregational Business Meeting supports the changing of a lightbulb, and the Congregation votes in favor, the responsibility to carry out the lightbulb change is passed on to the Trustee Board, who in turn appoint a seven-member committee to find the best price in new lightbulbs. Their recommendation of which hardware is the best buy must then be reviewed by the 23-member Ethics Committee to make certain that this hardware store has no connection to the Disney corporation. They report back to the Trustee Board who then commissions the Trustee in charge of the Janitor to ask him to make the change. By then the janitor discovers that one more light bulb has burned out.
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