How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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