How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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