How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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