How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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