How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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