How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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