How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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