How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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