How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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