How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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