How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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