How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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