How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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