How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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