How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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