How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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