How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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