How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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