How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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