How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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