How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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