How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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