How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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