How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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