How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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