How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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