How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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A seal walks into a club...
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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