How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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