How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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