How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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