How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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