How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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