How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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