How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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