How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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