How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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