How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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