How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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