How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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