How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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