How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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