How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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