How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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