How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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