How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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