How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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