How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."

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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.

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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.

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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.

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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...

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