How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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