How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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