How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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