How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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