How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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