How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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