How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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