How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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