How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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