How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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