How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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