How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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