How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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