How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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