How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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