How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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