How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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