How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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