How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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