How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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