How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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