How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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