How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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