How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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