How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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