How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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