How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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