How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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