How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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