How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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