How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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