How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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