How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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