How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."

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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck

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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.

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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."

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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats

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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.

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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.

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