How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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