How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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