How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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