How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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