How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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