How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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