How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."

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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.

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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."

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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.

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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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