How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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