How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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