How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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