How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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