How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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