How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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