How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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