How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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