How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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