How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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