How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights

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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.

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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.

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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.

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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.

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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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