How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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