How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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