How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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