How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).


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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.

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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.

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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.

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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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