How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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