How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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