How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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