How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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