How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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