How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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