How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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