How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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