How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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