How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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