How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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