How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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