How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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