How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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