How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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