How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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