How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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A seal walks into a club...
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