How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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