How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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