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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?
Glass flippers.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?
Their personalities.
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How does a pig go to hospital?
In a hambulance.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?
I scream!
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have any guts!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?
A hush puppy.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?
The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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I'll call you later.
Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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