How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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