How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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