How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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