How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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