How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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