How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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