How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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