How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).


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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!

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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.

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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!

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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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