How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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