Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
or
Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
or
A Chair!
or
Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
or
The batter.
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He was tired of working for peanuts.
or