How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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