How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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