How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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