How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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