How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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