How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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