How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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