How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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