How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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