How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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