How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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