How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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