How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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