How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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