How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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