How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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