How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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