How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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