How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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