How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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