How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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