How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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