How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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