How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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