How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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