How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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