How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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