How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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