How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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