How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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