How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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