How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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