How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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