How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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