How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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