How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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