How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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