How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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