How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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