How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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