How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?

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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.

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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.

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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.

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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.

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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!

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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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