How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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