How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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