How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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