How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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