How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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