How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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