How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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