How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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