How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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