How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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A seal walks into a club...
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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