How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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