How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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