How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?

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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats

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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine

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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?

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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear

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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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