How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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