How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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