How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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