How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.

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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs

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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them

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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.

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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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