How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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