How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?

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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.

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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.

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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon

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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.

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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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