How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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