How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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