How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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