How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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