How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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