How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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