How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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