How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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