How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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