How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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