How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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