How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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