How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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