How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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