How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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