How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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