How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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