How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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