How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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