How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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