How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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