How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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