How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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