How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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