How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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A seal walks into a club...
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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