How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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