How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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