How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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