How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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