How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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