How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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