How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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