How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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