How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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