How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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