How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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