How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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