How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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