How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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