How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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