How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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