How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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