How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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