How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.


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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.

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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me

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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.

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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear

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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.

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