How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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