How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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