How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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