How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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