How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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