How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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