How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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