How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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