How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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