How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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