How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.

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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"

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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.

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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split

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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.

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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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