How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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