How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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