How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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