How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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