How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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