How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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