How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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