How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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