How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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