How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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