How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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