How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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