How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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