How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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