How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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