How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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