How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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