How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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