How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.

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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.

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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."

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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .

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