How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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