How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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