How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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