How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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