How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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