How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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