How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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