One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
or
None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
or
They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
or
Three skunks fighting over a pickle
First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
or