How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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