How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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