How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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