How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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