How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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