How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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