How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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