How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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