How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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