How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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