How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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