How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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