How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"

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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.

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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.

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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".

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