How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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