How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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