How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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