How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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