How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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