How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"

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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark

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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."

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