How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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