How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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