How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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