How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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