How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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