How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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