How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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