How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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