How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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