How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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