How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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