How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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