How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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