How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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