How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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