How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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