How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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