How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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