How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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