How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"

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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!

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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.

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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.

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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.

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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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