How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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