How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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