How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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