How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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