How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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