How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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