How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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