How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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