How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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