How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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