How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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