How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"

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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.

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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.

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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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