How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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