How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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