How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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