How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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