How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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