How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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