How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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A seal walks into a club...
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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