How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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