How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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