How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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