How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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