How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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