How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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