How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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