How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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