How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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