How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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