How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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