How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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