How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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