How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.

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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g

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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis

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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.

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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.

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