How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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