How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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