How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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