How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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