How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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