How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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