How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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