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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?
No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?
He made an illegal ewe turn.
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How does a penguin build it's house?
Igloos it together.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?
He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?
With its sparrowchute.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.
The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?
A silicon.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?
Fo Drizzle!
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?
Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?
Scarespray!
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