How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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