How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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