How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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