How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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