How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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