How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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