How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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