How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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