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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?
No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?
Address.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?
A jump rope.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?
Flood lights!
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Why did the TV cross the road?
Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?
A hush puppy.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?
Meet Patty.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?
To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?
Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What is Claustrophobia?
The fear of Santa Claus.
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