How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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