How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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