How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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