How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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