How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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