How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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