How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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