How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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