How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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