How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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