How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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