How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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