How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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