How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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