How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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