How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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