How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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