How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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