How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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