How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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