How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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