How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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