How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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