How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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