How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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