How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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