How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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