How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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