How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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