How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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