How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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