How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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