How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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