How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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