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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?
To the mooooooovies.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?
Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?
Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?
The police had to comb the area.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
H2O cubed.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?
Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.
She was wearing massive gloves.
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