How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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