How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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