How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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