How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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