How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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