How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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