How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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