How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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