How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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