How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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