How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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