How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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