How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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