How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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