How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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