How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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