How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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