How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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