How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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