How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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