How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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