How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.

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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.

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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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