How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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A seal walks into a club...
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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