How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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