How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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