How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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