How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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