How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")

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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.

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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.

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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.

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