How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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