How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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