How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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