How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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