How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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