How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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