How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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