How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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