How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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