How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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