How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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