How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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