How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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