How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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