How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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