How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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