How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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