How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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