How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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