How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.


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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T

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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!

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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.

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