How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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