How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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