How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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