How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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