How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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