How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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