How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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