How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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