How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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