How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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