How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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