How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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