How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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