How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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