How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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