How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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