How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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