How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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