How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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