How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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