How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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