How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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