How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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