How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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