How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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