How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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