How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.


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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.

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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986

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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.

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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis

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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.

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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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