How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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