How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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