How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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