How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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A seal walks into a club...
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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