How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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