How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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