How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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