How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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