How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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