How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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