How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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