How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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