How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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