How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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