How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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