How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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