How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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