How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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