How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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