How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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