How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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