How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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