How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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