How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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