How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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