How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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