How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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