How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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