How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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