How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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