How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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