How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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