How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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