How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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