How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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