How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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