How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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