How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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