How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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