How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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