How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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