How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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