How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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