How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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