How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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