How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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