How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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