How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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