How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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