How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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