How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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