How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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