How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .

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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.

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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.

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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.

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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.

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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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