How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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