How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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