How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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