How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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