How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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