How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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