How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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