How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .

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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''

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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish

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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.

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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.

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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!

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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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