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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. It turned itself in.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?
A piano.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
H2O cubed.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.
Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What kind of band can't play music?
A rubber band.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?
What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Where do all the letters sleep?
In the alphabed.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?
Caerphilly.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?
Do you believe in humans?
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