How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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