How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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