How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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