How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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