How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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