How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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