How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .

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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.

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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog

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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.

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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop

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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.

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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!

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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.

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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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