How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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