How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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