How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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