How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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