How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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