How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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