How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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