How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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