How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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