How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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