How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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