How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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