How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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