How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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