How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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