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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?
As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?
No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?
Bone appetit!
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?
Pupperoni.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
Na
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?
To get a mini soda
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?
From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?
You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?
Because he wanted to be on time.
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