How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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