How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.


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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah

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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...

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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies

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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.

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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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