How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.


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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!

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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals

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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.

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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.

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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon

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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.

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