How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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