How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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