How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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