How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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