How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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