How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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