How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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