How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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