How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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