How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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