How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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