How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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