How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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