How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.


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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.

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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."

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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.

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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop

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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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