How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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