How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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