How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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