How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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