How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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