How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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