How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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