How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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