How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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