How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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A seal walks into a club...
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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