How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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