How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.


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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.

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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.

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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.

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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit

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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.

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