How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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