How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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