How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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