How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.


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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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A seal walks into a club...



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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!

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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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