How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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