How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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