How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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