How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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