How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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