How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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