How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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