How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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