How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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