How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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