How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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