How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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