How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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