How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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