How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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