How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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