How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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