How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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