How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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