How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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