How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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