How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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