How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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