How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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