How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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