How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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