How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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