How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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