How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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