How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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