How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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