How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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