How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"

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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.

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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!

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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.

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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.

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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.

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