How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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