How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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