How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"

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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops

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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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