How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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