How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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