How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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