How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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