How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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