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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?
Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.
They charged one - and let the other one off.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?
Punch.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?
Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.
It's Hans free.
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Where do mice park their boats?
At the hickory dickory dock.
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