How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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