How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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