How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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