How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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