How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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