How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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