How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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