How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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