How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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