How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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