How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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