How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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