How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"

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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.

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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.

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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.

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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.

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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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