How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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