How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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