Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
or
Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
or
It held up a pair of pants.
or
Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
or
Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
or
Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
or
A ruler.
or
With the Florida Keys.
or