How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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