How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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