How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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