How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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