How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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