How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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