How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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