How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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