How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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