How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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