How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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