How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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