How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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