How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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