How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.

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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang

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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.

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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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