How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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