How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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