How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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