How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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