How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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