How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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