How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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