How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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