How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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