How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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