How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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