How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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