How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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