How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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