How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.

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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.

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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.

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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.

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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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