How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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