How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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