How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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