How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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