How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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