How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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