How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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