How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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