How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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