How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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