How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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