How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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