How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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