How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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