How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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