How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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