How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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