How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.

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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.

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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake

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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.

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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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