How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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