Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.

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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.

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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark

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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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