Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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