Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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