Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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