Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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