Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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