Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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