Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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