Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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