Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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