Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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