Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.

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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.

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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.

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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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