Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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