Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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