Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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