Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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