Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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