Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck

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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!

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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.

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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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