Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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