I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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