I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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