I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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