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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.
It came in at quarter past four.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?
Booberry pie!
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?
She wanted to reach the high notes!
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What is a cat's favorite movie?
The sound of Mew-sic
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?
Because he wears a size "S".
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?
Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?
All of them
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?
What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
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