I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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