I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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