I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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