I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.

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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.

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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."

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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over

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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.

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