I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.

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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them

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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?

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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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