I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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