I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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