I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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