I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.


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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.

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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!

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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.

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What has a head but no body?

A nail.

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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.

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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.

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