I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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