I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.


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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".

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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.

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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas

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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.

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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.

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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.

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