I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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