I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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