I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.

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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."

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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.

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