I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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