I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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