I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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