I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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