I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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