I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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