I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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