I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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