I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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