I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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