I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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