I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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