I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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