I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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