I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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