I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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