I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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