I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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