I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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