I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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