I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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