I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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