I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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