I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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