I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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