I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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