I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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