I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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