I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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