I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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