I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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