I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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