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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.
So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?
Ice cream.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"
I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?
Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out
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What is a tree's favorite drink?
Root beer.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?
Spelling.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two tired.
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