I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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