I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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