I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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