I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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