I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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