I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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