I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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