I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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