I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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