I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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