I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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