I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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