I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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