I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

Itís Hans free.

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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.

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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated

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I donít play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

Iím just doing it for kicks.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess

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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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