I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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