I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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