I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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