I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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