I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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