I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.

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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.

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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.

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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.

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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies

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