I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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