I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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