I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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