I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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