I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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