I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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