I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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