I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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