I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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