I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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