I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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