I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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