I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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