I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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