I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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