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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.
It's Hans free.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?
Fingernails.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?
Because deep down, they're really good people.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?
Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?
He got caught peeping on a test.
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