I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.

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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.

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