I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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