I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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