I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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