I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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