I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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