I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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