I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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