I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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