I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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