I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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