I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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