I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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