I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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