I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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