I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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