I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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