I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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