I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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