I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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