I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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