I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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