I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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