I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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