I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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