I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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