I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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