I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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