I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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