I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.

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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.

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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.

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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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