I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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