I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.

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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.

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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.

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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals

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