I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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