I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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