I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.

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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.

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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!

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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!

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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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