I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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