I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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