I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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