I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.

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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.

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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?

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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.

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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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