I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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