I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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