I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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