I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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