I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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