I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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