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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,
I just can't think of one atm.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?
Time to get a new bed
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?
Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why did the cow cross the road?
Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?
Stick his bill up his ass.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?
The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.
He had in his own pews.
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