I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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