I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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