I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"

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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.

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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)

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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth

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