I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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