I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.

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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.

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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!

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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras

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