I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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