I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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