I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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