I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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