I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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