I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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