I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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