I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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