I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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