I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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