I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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