"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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