I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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