I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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