I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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