I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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