I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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