I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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