I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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