I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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