I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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