I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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