I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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