I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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