I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

Canvas not available.

or


I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

Canvas not available.

or


I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

Canvas not available.

or


Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
Canvas not available.

or


How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

Canvas not available.

or


How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
Canvas not available.

or


What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
Canvas not available.

or


They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
Canvas not available.

or


Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
Canvas not available.

or


A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

Canvas not available.

or






© Copyright crapjoke.com 2017-2025