I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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