I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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