I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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