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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;
I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?
A kitten.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?
No way Hose A.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It's fine, he woke up.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?
You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?
Bone appetit!
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How does a pig go to hospital?
In a hambulance.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?
They were sitting on the deck!
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