I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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