I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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