I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon

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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.

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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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