I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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