I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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