I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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