I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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