I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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