I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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