I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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A seal walks into a club...
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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