I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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