I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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