I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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