I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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