I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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