I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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