I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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