I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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