I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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