I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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