I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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