I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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