I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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