I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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