I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.

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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.

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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.


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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!

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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.

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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.

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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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