I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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