I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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