I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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