I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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