I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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