I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish

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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards

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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish

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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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