I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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