I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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