I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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