I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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