I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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