I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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A seal walks into a club...
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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