I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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