I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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