I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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