I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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