I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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