I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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