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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.
But that's just nuts
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When should you buy a bird?
When it's going cheep!
Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,
but I don't want one of them for my husband".
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?
News briefs.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?
Because there was no atmosphere.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?
Call a chairman.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.
We'll see about that."
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