I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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