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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.
But that's just nuts
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?
A natural major.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?
A fire cracker
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I tried nutella on some salmon
got salmonella.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?
As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?
The Trump Card
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?
Kitty Perry
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