I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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