I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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