I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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