I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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