I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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