I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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