I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.

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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess

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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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