I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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