I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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