I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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