I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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