I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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