I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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