I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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