I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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