I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many BBS jokers does it take to tell yet another LBJ?

1,622. One to tell the original joke, and the rest to submit give some minor variation of it! For example:
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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