I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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