I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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