I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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