I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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