I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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