I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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