I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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